How To Make A Giant Crazy

by Felix, age 7

How to make a giant crazy,
In ten easy steps.

Put mud in his toothpaste,
Sew him into is blanket while he sleeps,
Poke holes in his coffee cup,
Put worms in his shoes,
Replace his muscles with fake muscles and put them in the stewing pot,
Switch his toothpicks for matches,
Put rocks in his socks,
Put rocks in his bed,
Sew his pant legs together,
Send him a pot of chocolate spread with mud in it.

Now lock him in his bedroom,
Run away.

Making A Giant Feel Queasy

Making a giant feel queasy,
Is not so very easy,
There is an awful lot,
To put in the stewing pot.
Stinky poop,
Hairy gloop,
Rancid oil,
A witch's boil,
Mouldy bread,
A hamster's head,
Week old cheese,
A rooster's knees,
Rabbit's brains,
Fierce lion's manes,
A flat screen TV,
Ear wax from a flea,
A lizard's skin,
A maggot's chin,
Vampire vomit,
A Shakespeare sonnet,
Gone off milk,
A pig's ear silk,
A dried lump of dragon snot,
And then when you have the lot,
Stir it up with a ten foot spoon,
Grimacing like a witch's goon,
Keep stirring for at least an hour,
To stop your brew from turning sour,
When at last it is all done,
Add it to a giant's bun,
Watch from very far away,
On a lovely clear view day,
The giant who has been a toad,
Will first jump and then explode,
I know he doesn't feel queasy,
But I did say it wasn't easy.

by Angela, Hazel and Felix